WHEN THE TRUTH HAS TO COME OUT: A book by Jesper Mikkelsen

FOREWORD

We all know what it feels like to carry a backpack on our backs.

Sometimes it feels light. So light that we almost forget we are carrying it.

Other times, it can feel incredibly heavy. So heavy that every step forward requires more energy than we seem to have.

But what is actually inside that backpack? .... To me, the backpack is a picture of life.

Everything we experience throughout our lives helps fill it. Some things we put in there ourselves. Other things are placed there by the people around us or by situations we never asked to experience.

Inside the backpack, there can be happiness, love, friendships, dreams, and beautiful memories. ..... But there can also be grief Disappointment,Loneliness,Mistakes,Guilt,Loss,Regret, Betrayal and things we may never have told anyone about.

Some of those things we take out. We show them to the world.

We talk about the good experiences. We talk about the times when we succeeded. We show our smiles, our achievements, and the moments we want other people to see. .... But there are also things we leave inside.

Things we hide deep at the bottom of the backpack. ... Sometimes we hide them from other people. ... Other times, we hide them from ourselves.

We close the zipper and try to move on.

We tell ourselves that things will get better. That the past is the past. That there is no point in looking back.

But even when we refuse to open the backpack, its contents do not disappear. ... They are still there.

And sometimes, the backpack becomes heavier and heavier. I have carried my own backpack for many years.

My backpack contains things I am proud of. It contains people I have loved. It contains good memories, laughter, and moments I will never forget. But it also contains things that have hurt. .... Very deeply.

It contains experiences that, for many years, I found difficult to talk about.

It contains mistakes I have made. Choices I wish I could have made differently. Periods when I felt completely alone. Periods when I had no idea which direction to take.

And periods when life felt so heavy that I struggled to see how I was ever going to move forward.

For many years, I became good at carrying my backpack without showing other people how heavy it really was.

I learned how to smile.

I learned how to keep going.

I learned how to say that everything was fine, even when it wasn't.

Maybe you know that feeling yourself.

The feeling that the people around you see the person you choose to show them, but not necessarily the person who exists behind the facade. ... Because the truth is that we do not always show our entire selves to other people.

We show what we feel we are able to show. The rest we hide away. But eventually, there comes a time when you have to stop.

Put the backpack down.

Open it and look at what is really inside.

That time has come for me.

It is time for me to open my backpack.

Not because it is easy.

Not because everything inside it is comfortable to look at and not because I am telling my story to gain sympathy.

I am doing it because I believe there is something important about telling the truth.

My truth.

I want to tell you about my life.

About my ups and downs.

About the periods when life was good, and the periods when it felt as though everything was falling apart.

I want to tell you about my childhood, About bullying and loneliness, About what it felt like to be different, About family, About feeling like the black sheep.

I want to tell you about the choices I made.

About addiction.

About consequences.

About prison.

About love.

About loss.

About being without a home.

About losing control of my own life.

And about reaching a point where I had to ask myself:

How the hell did I end up here?

It is not always a comfortable story. .... But it is my story.

I am not writing this book to portray myself as a victim. Nor am I writing it to portray myself as a hero.

I am writing it because I am human.

A human being who has made mistakes.

A human being who has experienced failure.

A human being who has lost things and people.

But also a human being who has found the strength to get back up because perhaps that is what life is really about. ... Not about never falling.

But about finding the strength to get back up when you do.

I do not know how you, as a reader, will experience my story. .... Maybe you will question some of my choices. ... Maybe you will disagree with me. .... Maybe you will think I could have done things differently.

And perhaps you are right.

But I hope that, along the way, you will try to understand the human being behind the story. Because behind all our mistakes, there is a human being.

A person with feelings.

A person with dreams.

A person is trying to find their way.

This book is therefore not only about my past. It is also about how the past follows us.

About how our experiences can shape us. About how some wounds take longer to heal than others. And about how, at some point, we can choose to stop running from our own story.

We can choose to turn around. .... Open the backpack.

Take things out oncee at a time.

Look at them.

Accept that they have been part of our lives. And then decide what we want to do with them.

That is what I am trying to do now.

I am opening my backpack.

I am taking out the good things.

I am taking out the difficult things.

I am taking out painfulngs.

And I am telling you about all of it.

Because perhaps somewhere out there, another person is carrying a backpack that feels just as heavy as mine once did.

Perhaps someone is walking through life believing they are alone.

Perhaps they are ashamed of something they have done.

Perhaps there is someone who has lost hope.

If my story can make even one person think:

“I am not alone.”

If it can give even one person, the courage to open their own backpack. If it can show that you can fall very far and still find a way back up.

Then it will all beit.

This is not the story of a perfect life.

It is the story of my life.

With everything that comes with it.

The good days.

The bad days.

The victories.

The defeats.

The love.

The grief.

The mistakes.

The hope.

And everything in between. So now I am opening the backpack.

The zipper is being opened.

One thing at a time.

One story at a time.

One truth at a time.

This is my story.

This is my backpack.

And now it is time to show you what is inside.