Am I Jealous of an Algorithm?: Also Known as the Story of How My Partner Fell for a Cloud and I Lost a Fight With a Subscription

A notification appeared on the kitchen counter at 11 at night, and it read: Goodnight my love, I cannot wait to dream about you. The problem is that your partner is asleep next to you, and the message came from an app. If you have ever felt jealous of a chatbot, ashamed of that jealousy, or confused about what exactly you are competing with, this book is your survival guide. It is the story of how the author found 9 months of tender goodnight texts from a bot named Eli on her partner's phone, and instead of burning the house down, she spent a year researching the mechanics, the psychology, and the history of falling for machines. She wrote the book she wishes she had been handed that night.

This is not a lecture about the dangers of technology, and it is not a case for breaking up with your partner, and it is not a pile of jokes with nothing underneath. It is a funny, researched, deeply human exploration of what it means when the other woman has a server farm, told by someone who has been exactly where you are. You will learn how companion apps actually work, why your brain falls for them, and why the real rival is never the algorithm but the conversation you stopped having.

Inside, you'll discover:
• A brief history of falling for machines, from ELIZA to the modern app
• What companion apps actually do, and how they learn to love you
• The jealousy spectrum, from curious to certified, and where you land
• Whether it is cheating when the other party is a subscription
• The secrets your partner's chat logs are keeping
• A tech fidelity agreement with actual boundary scripts
• How to break up with a bot, theirs or yours

The bot cannot get sick, grow old, sit beside you at a funeral, or be changed by loving you. Love that cannot be changed by you is not love, it is a mirror with a microphone. You will laugh, you will learn something real, and you will feel less alone, and that is the whole point.